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DOS Computers manufactured by companies such as IBM, Compaq, Tandy, and millions of others are by far the most popular, with about 70 million machines in use worldwide. Macintosh fans, on the other hand, may note that cockroaches are far more numerous than humans, and that numbers alone do not denote a higher life form.

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A man's only as old as the woman he feels.

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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

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Real punks help little old ladies across the street because it shocks more people than if they spit on the sidewalk.

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They laughed when I said I'd be a comedian. They aren't laughing now.

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He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.

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The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.